Last day of 2009. How was it?

For me (us) it has been a great year.
It all started in December 2008. Nuria got a new job at The Global Fund to fight AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria. A considerable jump in her career in a place where most of us would love to work for what they do, which is to save lives. 4.9 million to be precise.

Once we learnt that, I was working at Shelter Centre where I was the Web Communications Chief, I asked for leave without pay, so we could have a dream trip around the world February and March. They accepted. The new Drupal website was up and running now it was just a question of fine tuning it.

We bought a round the world ticket with roundtheworldflights.com very nice people (thanks Jarvis) and very good price.
We did Geneva, London, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Tahiti, Auckland, Christchurch, Hong Kong, London, Geneva. All flexible. In Tahiti we bought internal flights to Moorea, Bora Bora and Huahine (see photos at http://norai.net)

Well we blogged every day in our TDM (tour du monde), so you can see our adventures, skydiving, and 9000 km driving in New Zealand.

There we conceived Kai. Our Christmas present for 2009.

Once back in Geneva Nuria started her job, and I was called by my former employer (the ITC) where I worked nearly for 5 years as a consultant and they asked me to join them, so I finished the site at Shelter Centre and joined ITC in July, where I have been an Advisor in Export Strategy and Competitiveness up to present, traveling extensively to Africa (Liberia, Kenya, Sierra Leone, Rwanda…).

When kai was born, 23 days ago, we also got our new car. We said bye to the 1989 red Golf GTI and said Hi to the new Fiat 500.

Now I can go to work in the car rather than in my Ducati. It is pretty cold and rains often. I’m very happy with my new little car too. Pack of technology by default (bluetooth for mobile, reads mp3 from USB key, vocal commands, … etc…)

So as you see, even if for most of the world it has been a bad year, not for us.

My brother lost his job. Nuria’s brother’s too. The economy is in pretty bad shape, but 2009 has been a very good year for us.

Now it is coming to an end. In less than 6 hours in fact. It is also the end of a decennium.

What happened this decennium technologically speaking?

This decennium has been a huge change in technology. Internet has changed the world. We carry our computers in our phones, specially since the iPhone came out. Internet is fast web2.0 has brought us video and ajax. The web experience has reached unthinkable limits. Google has become bigger than General Motors and one of the most profitable companies in the world… and it is in internet… who could have imagine something like that 10 years ago! They are even on the phone industry!

Information is now at the tip of the hands. Mobile phones have spread like mushrooms and have given Africa a huge step towards development and poverty reduction.

Now the big media companies (CBS, CNN and so) are not that big. Internet has provided real time news and information has been democratized with tools such as twitter or Facebook. We know what it is going on firt by social media tools than from BBC or CNN. We are the writers and we control the content with tools such as digg or delicious. Now we have millions of people feeding the news. It is a user generated era, even companies have started to learn that they should have API’s or be open source (google). Look at the contribution in kind done to the iphone platform! nearly 100.000 apps!

The hardware has progressed a lot too. My iPhone 3GS has 32Mb. Solid state memory has increased at huge steps too. Who could think 10 years ago that a mobile phone could have 32Gb or/and a 8Mp camera? 10 years ago we had 3Mp with a terrible screen. Now cameras like canon 5d mark II provide video at a HD quality with the plus of professional lenses.

What else have we seen… the web… the web has gone from a showroom to a two-way collaborative tool making our live more efficient. We buy all via internet now. I bought not only my car via internet but most of the stuff I own. And I have been doing that for a while already. My 42 LCD TV I bought in ebay in 2003. In my house, the shower with sauna, the massage chair, all the kitchen appliances and most of the stuff I bought via internet.

Last that I can think of for this last decade, having kai and Nuria sleeping on my right, is that finally the LHC (at CERN) is working! I am proud as I worked for 3 years in the conception phase of the LHC 10 years ago. To see it now running is great, specially when I contributed to it.

What can we expect in the next 10 years?

Obviously the hardware will continue to explode. Hard disk, processors, screen technology (LED or something new, ebook readers, tablets), internet speed and connectivity (wimax, 4g)… that will make information easier to access and to share. Now a smartphone has GPS, accelerometers and a lot of sensors. I foresee a step towards this sort of uses: location, using the camera of the phone to take a photo from anything and have image recognition, reviews, who is there, where is cheaper, banking, payments… all!!. Search engines will go one step further and they will have other ways to search than text, photos videos, voice… everything indexable. With my phone I will be able to see where my friends are, what they are drinking, etc… reviews are important. I use internet to review and read reviews of what I buy, the hotels I go (tripadvisor), google, tell me where, etc… so location, location, location.

But not everything are flowers… I think that because Internet is going to be so big, Internet Governance is going to be a big issue. Now the US controls ICANN and a lot of other stuff. Internet Governance is going to be a difficult topic. Also Internet as a human right. ISP (internet providers) will try to get the maximum out of it, by capping, limiting connectivity, filtering content (like in China) and so. If this is the case, Internet could be in danger. It should be a 100% open platform. No restrictions. I hope governments intervene to avoid this sort of issues that we are already starting to see in the US with ISPs. Access to Internet should be unlimited and unrestricted. Government should be careful also not doing like in Finland where they are going to filter content at ISP level… a biiiiig mistake.

Privacy is also going to be an issue, but I guess we will be living in public. There is no problem for me, but privacy should be seriously managed. Specially when companies are outsourcing for instance email to google apps, or google docs and calendars…

Cloud computing will be big, and I don’t know if computers will trend to be more like terminals and run all the programs in the cloud. I do use google docs a lot I must say. Online photo services, backups, etc… I can’t wait to see how it progresses. The combination of cloud computing and terminals with strong browsers with offline technology could be a way. If you think about it, why not log in at any computer/terminal and have your files programs and so? Well this could be achieved with good connectivity and good cloud computing. But again, if this is where we go, we will start to see issues of compatibility and standards. Exporting things from a cloud to a computer or to another cloud… it should be standardized.

But the I wonder… when I bought my fiat 500, I printed out the price I was getting in internet and went to my local Fiat dealer. The salesman was furious. He said he could not compete with that. They have cost of personnel, stocks, training, etc… while the guy in internet buys bulk and gets incredible prices… so it made me think. There is no point in having shops or car dealers. They are simply not competitive with internet. So where is the business? Well, services I guess. Garage to repair. Warehouse to collect parts. Advise… but not in selling goods. I told the guy in Fiat that his business model was condemned to die.

There is another ethical question you could ask yourself. If you could buy cheaper 98% of people would buy cheaper. What about paying extra if it manufactured at home, or uses organic stuff, or is environmentally better? It is a difficult question. Specially for our generation. I hope next generation will think differently. Developed countries can not live from services alone, and the rest is more expensive than to do it abroad. So what to do? Free trade has given a lot of opportunities to developing countries, but we have seen with Doha failure that one size does not fit all. What about free movement of people? Goods and people are not strangers. If I am a farmer in France and all farming goes to … China (just a stupid example), then what happens to the french farmer? Should he go to China? Move to something else? Should we cluster activities wherever they are more productive? I don’t know. That would not be sustainable for the environment. Look at Indonesia, they have destroyed the forest to put palm oil plantations. It is so sad. Al fauna is dead and most of the country is monocorp…. but this is where we are going! Look at the farmers in the US. Maybe it should be studied where the environmental impact is lower and do it there.

If you go to Africa you will see how developed countries have destroyed. We imposed the capitalism there. The richer continent in earth is the poorest. Before people there did not have to work. If they were hungry they would take it from the trees. No effort. Simple and happy life….

The end of it is that we can not avoid to spread wealth with this model, meaning that developed countries will have to lower their living standards, otherwise I don’t see how this is sustainable. Closing borders? Big mistake… Anyway that is whole new story.

Happy new year!!!

Mathematical logic

What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96%

But,
A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

New words

TESTICULATING – Waving your arms around and talking b*llocks.

BLAMESTORMING – Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible

SEAGULL MANAGER – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS – The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY – The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM – An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING – When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see that’s going on.
(This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)

MOUSE POTATO – The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs – Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a “home business”.

STRESS PUPPY – A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE – The fine art of whacking the cr*p out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE – The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the “adminisphere” are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded “administrivia” needless paperwork and processes.

404 – Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND – That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you’ve just made a BIG mistake (e. g you’ve hit ‘reply all’)

Tener un hijo

(por Andreu Buenafuente)

El verano pasado mi hijo Alejandro, cumplió 4 años, y, cuando sopló las velas, mi mujer y yo le dijimos:
-Cariño, pide un deseo. A ver, ¿qué has pedido?
Y el niño nos mira así, todo ilusionado, y nos dice:
-Una play station o un hermanito.
Y mi mujer y yo nos miramos. y dijimos:
-’joder, la playstation son ochenta mil’
Así que fuimos a por la parejita. Si lo llego a saber, va ella sola. Hay que ver lo rápido que se queda embarazada una novia, y lo que cuesta dejar embarazada a tu mujer.
¡Es verdad!. ¡Tu llevas un mes saliendo con una chica, estás parado, le caes mal a sus padres, no te quitas el condón ni para ducharte. Y la dejas embarazada a la primera!
Ahora, como vayáis a por el niño. Es mas fácil sacarla de España de tanto empujar, que dejarla embarazada..! Eso si, os ponéis los dos muy melosos:
Velitas, incienso, música de saxofón. porque piensas:
Vamos a hacerlo con mucho cariño para que sea fruto del amor.
Después de seis meses sin que se quede embarazada dices:
‘A ver si va a ser mejor que sea fruto de un polvo’.
Sí, porque pasa como con el fútbol.
Jugar bonito le gusta a todo el mundo, pero lo que cuenta es meter gol.
Así que vais a consultar al ginecólogo y el tío te dice:
-Esto es normal. Tenéis que insistir más.
Total, que te receta los polvos como si fueran Frenadol:
-Tres al día cada 6 horas.
Cuando llevas dos meses a este ritmo, te quieres morir.
Lo peor es la semana de ovulación..
Porque, por lo visto en esos días sube la temperatura. y eso aumenta la fertilidad. Así que mi mujer está todo el día con el termómetro. Y claro, de repente, estás en medio de una reunión y suena el teléfono:
-Cariño, me ha subido. Vente corriendo.Tiene que ser ahora mismo.
Y a ver como se lo explicas a tu jefe:
-Mire, me tengo que ir., es que a mi mujer le ha subido la temperatura.
-¿y no puede atenderla un médico?
-Hombre. es que preferiría que el niño fuera mío.
Y llegas a casa y te la encuentras ya desnuda y preparada., que dices:
‘jo, yo así no puedo! Esto es como comer pipas peladas.!’.
Y es que ella no piensa en otra cosa.
¡Coño, que parece un tío!
Y yo me siento como una máquina. Vamos, que cuando terminamos me dan ganas de decirle:
‘Su espermatozoide, gracias!.
Y, encima, todo el mundo te da consejos:
Hacedlo en la postura del misionero, con luna llena; que ella se ponga un cojín debajo y que después de hacerlo se pegue media hora tumbada con los pies en alto.
Joder! ¡La pobre! Es la primera vez que soy yo el que tiene que decirle a ella:
‘¡Aguanta, aguanta un poco más!’
Al final, cuando vimos que no había forma, volvimos al médico, y va y me dice:
-Bueno, pues, lo mejor va a ser que se haga un análisis de semen, porque puede que tenga usted pocos espermatozoides.
Qué tú piensas:
‘¡Coño, seis meses.. a seis polvos diarios..! ¡lo que me extraña es que me quede alguno!’.
Y el médico:
-Aunque también podría tratarse de astenospermia. Lo que se conoce como…’Espermatozoides vagos’.
Y mi mujer:
-¡Buah.! ¡Pues va a ser eso.! Porque se pasa el día tocándose los huevos.
Y el otro:
-Usted no se preocupe, que si es eso, podemos extraerlos e implantarlos en el óvulo.
¡Si hombre.! Una cosa es que sean vagos. y otra ponerles taxi para recorrer doce centímetros.!
Y el médico:
-Es que ésto es muy difícil. Tenga en cuenta que de millones de espermatozoides sólo puede ganar uno.
-¡Mira, como en Gran hermano!
El caso es que tienes que hacerte el análisis. Te meten en una habitación con un vasito y un montón de revistas porno. Y tú te sientas allí, a ver si se anima.
Pero estás mirando un montón de fotos de tías en pelotas y lo único que piensas es:
‘¡Huy!, fíjate ésta… con las caderas tan estrechas va a tener problemas en el parto, ¿eh?… ¡Huy!, esta otra..con toda la silicona que se ha metido… ¡a ver como amamanta al niño!’
Y encima, mi mujer desde fuera:
-Cariño! ¿Has terminado ya? ¡En casa no aguantas tanto!
Total, que al final, con mucha buena voluntad consigues llenar el vasito.
Pero luego te pasas toda la semana jodido mientras esperas los resultados.
Lo peor de todo es que empiezas a dudar de que el niño que ya tienes sea tuyo. Miras al niño y piensas:
‘Sí, de acuerdo, Alejandrito es clavado a mí, pero yo tengo una cara muy corriente’.
Y te acuerdas de esa insistencia de tu mujer en ponerle Alejandro.
¿Qué pasa, que Santi no es bonito?
Y ya para colmo es cuando llega tu suegra y le dice:
-¡Ay, que niño tan listo.! ¿A quién habrá salido?
Qué ahí ya dices:
¡Coño, es verdad.! ¡A ver si tampoco va a ser de mi mujer!
Pero de pronto reaccionas:
¡Joder, me estoy emparanoiando!
¡Alejandro es mío!
Hay que tener en cuenta que, en aquel tiempo, dejarla embarazada era más fácil:
Yo estaba en paro, mis suegros me odiaban, me ponía condón.
¡Coño, lo teníamos todo a favor!
Al final nos dieron los resultados y por lo visto, no me pasa nada. Lo que tengo es estrés. Así que le he comprado al niño la Playstation; a ver si jugando me relajo un poco.

globat …

Thank you for contacting Globat Chat Support. You are now chatting with Technical Specialist ‘PJ’
PJ: Hi and thank you for contacting Globat Signature Support! We have received your question (s) from the pre-chat survey and will answer you momentarily.  Thank you for your patience.
Me: hello
PJ: hi
Me: http://www.esan.biz is not working
Me: I connected to the FTP and all files are gone…. what’s wrong???
Me: It is a joomla site and was working fine until 4 of 5 days
PJ: Thank you for your patience. I’ll be with you in just a moment.
PJ: The storage device attached to the server where many websites are stored. Normally a disk failure is not catastrophic. The disk failed completely at some point during the night and we switched over to the backup storage device. After the failure and switching to the backup server, we discovered that the backup procedure had been corrupted by the earlier partial disk failure and some sites had no backup available.
PJ: We deeply apologize for this inconvenience. The server is back online and running normally again. Please reupload your files again on the server,
Me: ??
Me: don’t you have a backup??????
PJ: unfortunately the backup happened to be affected by the failure leaving files deleted
Me: I don’t have a back up!!!!!! Tell me that this is not happening…
PJ: unfortunately this is what reported by high management for technical department and we have to face that file on server have been lost due to server failure
Me: I cannot believe it. There is no back up somewhere else??? This is a disaster for the organization….
Me: Even an old backup?
PJ: not even old back up
Me: I will talk with the Management of esan. I’m about to have a heart attack.
Me: They are going to kill me.
Me: If we have to start the web from scratch obviously we will go somewhere else. I have to carefully read the terms and conditions of the hosting. This is incredible…
PJ: we are trully sorry for this inconvenience
Me: Sure. Now I have to go. I will call you. I have to jump from a bridge now.
PJ: that is such a bad joke :9
Me: really? what I am suppose to tell the organization when I have charged them a lot of money to do the website and I don’t have a back up?
Me: Where they keep all personel data, bank details, everything!!! what I am suposed to do?
Me: They relayed on the web 100% and I trusted you.
Me: do you keep the corrupted back up disks? I am ready to pay an expert to recover the data.
PJ: our higher manage ment have done the that but still no result
Me: Please, please please, it is possbile to retrive data from a damaged disc. Please. Specially is you are using raids plus backups… is there hope? please
PJ: it was been reported this morning from the director itself that files have been lost and that we need to face clients with this issues, we are allowed to provide additional months of hostng but I feel that this is not going to ease the lost at your end
Me: So no hope. Thank PJ. I should go then. I’m a dead man.

ze drem vil finali kum tru!

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other  possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be  known as “EuroEnglish”: In the first year, “s” will
replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favor of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and
keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will make words  like “fotograf” 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the  new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are  possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of the silent “e”‘s in the languag is disgraceful, and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing  “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaiining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil  find  it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

la vida misma

Anoche, mi novia y yo estábamos sentados en la sala, hablando de las muchas cosas de la vida. Estábamos hablando de la idea de vivir o morir.
Le dije: ‘Nunca me dejes vivir en estado vegetativo,dependiendo de máquinas y líquidos de una botella, si me ves en ese estado,desenchufa los artefactos que me mantienen vivo, prefiero morir’
Entonces .. ella se levantó con cara de admiración …
… y desenchufó el televisor, el ordenador, la ipod y la play station…
Y me quitó la cerveza!!!
Qué hijaputa … casi me muero !!!!!!

love

A girl asked a boy if she was pretty.
He said no.
She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever.
He said no.
She then asked him if he would cry if she walked away.
He again said no.
She had heard too much.
She needed to leave.
As she walked away, he grabbed her arm and told her to stay, he said,
"You’re not pretty, you’re beautiful. I don’t want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. I wouldn’t cry if you walked away, I would die."

tattoo in istanbul airport

waiting to check in this morning there was a lady with a tattoo in her neck:

"Don’t cry, say just fuck u and smile"

nice tattoo…