ze drem vil finali kum tru!

April 21, 2008

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other  possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be  known as “EuroEnglish”: In the first year, “s” will
replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favor of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and
keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will make words  like “fotograf” 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the  new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are  possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of the silent “e”‘s in the languag is disgraceful, and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing  “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaiining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil  find  it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

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